Baby it's cold outside

Christmas is just awesome! Had tons of fun with new and old friends in my life. My grandparents were also down from New York (on my mothers side). I got a lot of clothes and some money! My dad even went out and bought us gifts? He never does this, and they were awesome gifts! He got me an amazing cast iron tea pot <3 a rosemary candle <3 and a lovely tea cup! Tomorrow is New Years Eve and I get to dress up all lovely! Can't wait! Ok blah blah enough talk! Here's some pictures from the webcam and our night out!

me, sister in law, and MOM

my brother

sister and brother

Empty

I can’t stomach this. I wish I could regurgitate this feeling sliding, creeping down my throat, settling cozily, in nothing but an empty space, the size of my fist. How to get it out? How to get it out? It needs to be purged before it begins invading, multiplying cells of destruction, consuming me. Filling me with nothing but empty thoughts, mind numbing, stifling. Am I going to get out of here alive? 

I still choose you

The Civil Wars- Poison & Wine

You only know what I want you to
I know everything you don't want me to
Oh your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine
Oh you think your dreams are the same as mine
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
The less I give the more I get back
Oh your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice but I still choose you
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
Oh I don't love you but I always will
I always will
I always will
I always will
I always will
I always will 

 I am in love with The Civil Wars right now... they are such an amazing band. Their name is about the different phases in relationships. I have been feeling so uncomfortably blue lately, and this song fits my mood perfectly right now. Us humans think too much, let's stop. We're going to kill ourselves from over thinking... Now how do we achieve this? I'd like to know. I'm so tired of thinking.